The Yearning

I had not been asleep for long when the phone rang.

It was a man’s voice. “Is this Clara?”

“Yes.”

“Hi. This is Bill. We met in the park yesterday and exchanged numbers. Do you remember me?”

“Uh, yes.”

“Are you alright? You sound kind of funny.”

Who was this guy and what did he want? “I’m groggy. I was asleep.”

“It’s three in the afternoon, about the same time we met yesterday in the park.”

I yawned. “When my granddaughter isn’t with me, I take a nap in the afternoon. She’s lively and likes to play on the jungle gym. When she’s not here, I watch TV or read a book until I fall asleep.”

“I’m sorry I woke you up, but I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner tonight at the steak and seafood grille.”

“That sounds nice, but I’m a grandmother, and it I don’t know if it’s appropriate for me to date.”

“You don’t look like a grandmother. You’re not married now, are you?”

“I’m proud to be a grandmother. Anyway, I’ve been widowed for about five years.”

“I’m also a widower, been one for three years. My wife had cancer. I miss her, but I don’t think people are meant to live alone. Companionship is good.”

“I find many little joys living alone, but you may be right.”

“So we’re on for dinner tonight?”

“Okay. I’ll meet you there.”

A date. It had been a long time since dating. My husband was the only serious relationship I had ever had. We went to the high school senior prom together, went steady through college, and married after graduating, when Tom had a good job. I couldn’t explain it to a stranger over the phone, but Tom was the one for me. I can’t imagine being intimate with anyone else. But maybe a dinner date was okay. I didn’t have much of a social calendar.

I got dressed and put on makeup.

Once we were seated and ordered drinks (neither of us had alcohol), Bill looked at me and smiled. “You look lovely tonight. Thank you for accepting my invitation.”

“Thank you for inviting me. It was a nice surprise.”

“I didn’t hear the television when I called, so my guess is you were reading. What are you reading now?”

“I’m reading a biography of Abraham Lincoln. I like biographies and history. I majored in history in college.”

“That’s interesting. Did you become a school teacher?”

“I home-schooled my children. They went on to college, too. One of them got an MBA in marketing, and the other went into public relations. They both have lucrative careers that they are passionate about.”

“What about you? Your life isn’t over yet. Do you have any aspirations?”

I got the feeling this guy didn’t approve of my lifestyle. “I’m content. What about you, do you have any children or grandchildren?”

“No. My wife and I chose not to have children. We both had careers and liked to travel during vacations.”

“What did you do?”

“I was an engineer at a tire factory.”

“That’s what Tom did! At Firestone.”

“What’s your last name?”

“Finnegan.”

“I knew him! What a small world. He was easy to work with, a great guy. We often had lunch together and sometimes went for drinks at the end of the day.”

Dinner was pleasant, but it made me yearn to have Tom back and I didn’t have any romantic feelings for Bill. I insisted on having separate checks. When I got home, I cried hard. I still didn’t feel I could explain my feelings to Bill, so I blocked his number on my phone.