Procrastination

“But Mom, the week before Christmas is the beginning of my winter break. I thought we were going to do something, like take a trip together. We even talked about going to Florida.”

“Well, you wouldn’t want to be seen with your mother, would you? Oh, it’s spring break when college students party in Florida.”

“There’s nothing wrong with family members enjoying a winter break together.”

“Of course not, but I have to meet with the client in December to plan next year’s ad campaign. If you learn anything from me, it’s not to go into advertising. That and not to abandon a family once you’ve started one.”

“Do I remind you of my father? Is that why you can’t focus on me?”

“Heavens, no. You don’t remind me of anyone but yourself, and I’ve raised you right. You’re in college now. I’m proud of you.”

“You know I’ve never been a good student, though. Maybe you could relate to me better if I was more ambitious.”

“That’s not true at all. I do want to be a good role model for you, and I’m in the midst of a project that has to be done. I’ll talk to you next week. Do your best!”

Al put his cell phone in his backpack and slumped in the couch of the dorm common space. He hadn’t noticed anything about the space while he was talking to his mother, so he was surprised when Trisha turned around from a desk where she had been working on a laptop and said, “Disappointed about the winter break plans?”

Al felt his face starting to burn. “You’re a perfect student. Everybody respects you.”

Trisha frowned. “If I thought my entire worth was in how I did in school, I’d probably feel paralyzed about the work.”

Al sighed. “That’s how I feel when I think of my course work, paralyzed. I have big projects to do in more than one class, not to mention the finals coming up. You’re probably up to date with all of your work.”

Trisha shook her head. “I can’t think of big projects, to tell you the truth. When I have an assignment, I start to panic, but then I think, ‘If I could do one small thing to get it done, what would it be?’ I keep asking myself that until I’m done with it. You have nearly a month before your finals and semester projects are due. You can do it, I know you can.”

Al’s mouth dropped and his eyes opened wide. “You feel the panic, too? I thought I was the only one. And I know you have a near perfect average.”

“For me, if I can get past the panic, my courses really interest me. Of course, sometimes I have to take time out for socializing and entertainment.”

“Thank you. I’ll try that. Doing one small thing at a time, that is.”

Trisha smiled. “A bunch of us are going for pizza Saturday night. Do you want to join us?”

Al lit up. “That would be great.”

Al’s grades were better that semester, a B average, but more than that, he learned more and the classes were more interesting for him. When he showed his mother his grades, she patted him on the head and suggested they go out for dinner, but later canceled the dinner and gave him a gift card instead. Al thought to himself that he could do better. He only began studying in earnest in the middle of the semester.

Al went skiing with some other guys from his dorm during the first week of winter break. The guys joked around and laughed a lot, but Al missed Trisha. Al took an interdisciplinary course on modernism during the rest of winter break. It was an intensive class, three credits, crammed into three weeks. Al continued to think in terms of what the next thing was that he could do. He got an A in that class, too. He learned how society changed so greatly in so many ways in so little time. More than the topic of study, Al was amazed at how differently he felt about his studies. He had never been as enthusiastic about school work before. Previously, he had done as little as possible and felt anxious about it. Now he wanted to learn more and more.

Trisha was also taking a winter session course. They and a few other students went out together on Saturday nights. Al was surprised by how much he enjoyed the nights out. Before, when he had gone out with other students, he had felt inferior, and anxious that he should have been at home doing school work, but at the same time knowing that if he was at home he wouldn’t have been studying, anyway. Now that he was engrossed in his school work when he was alone, he could appreciate the company of other people on a Saturday night, especially Trisha. Trisha introduced him to several of her friends, male and female, and always made sure he felt welcome. Al, for the first time he could remember, felt seen, and it was overwhelming. He was afraid of showing how much he felt about gestures that seemed natural to Trisha.

Conversation never flagged between Al and Trisha. Trisha was taking an introduction to philosophy course, which sounded fascinating when she talked about it, although Al wasn’t sure he understood what she was talking about. Trisha also listened attentively when Al talked about modernism. They wouldn’t declare their major for another year. Trisha planned to go to law school when she graduated. Al didn’t know what he wanted to do, but with his new study habits he felt there would be more opportunities for him.

Al brought home an A in modernism and explained to his mother that it was an intensive class. She nodded and said, “I’m proud of you,” but had planned a dinner with a client.

Al asked, “Why am I so unimportant to you?”

His mother’s eyes teared up. “I’m sorry. I’m in danger of losing this client. My job is never stable. I want the best for you.”

Al finally realized that it wasn’t his average grades that had lost him her interest. Her mind was on other things than him because she felt she had to attend to business. Al felt he had to take it like a man and focus on other things.

In the spring semester, Al and Trisha were again in the same dorm building. They also were both in the same class in earth science. Trisha was always interested in anything Al said. They often laughed together. Al felt indebted to her for helping him overcome procrastination and widening his social circle. Most of the time they were together, they were also with several other students. Al enjoyed the company of them all, but he felt closest to Trisha.

One night, Al was late getting to the restaurant where the students were meeting and Trisha was deep in conversation with a young man Al didn’t recognize. Al’s first thought was that the young man was better looking than himself. Al took the only seat available at the opposite end of the table from Trisha.

“Who is Trisha talking to? I’ve never met him,” Al asked a young woman seated next to him.

She smiled. “I have no idea. I just got here, myself. They look like they are very close, like they aren’t even aware of everyone else.”

Al felt himself sweating. He tried to keep up conversations with the people around him, but his mind kept going to Trisha. He was used to being the center of her attention. They were at a family style Chinese restaurant, and the order had already been placed. He usually enjoyed this restaurant, but that night he didn’t have any appetite.

Everybody chipped in to pay for the meal. Al got up quickly. He wanted to be alone. As he reached the door, though, Trisha called out to him. Al stopped and turned around. Trisha and the guy she’d been talking to came up to him.

Trisha put a hand on Al’s arm. “I want you to meet my brother, Pierce. He’s studying medicine at Penn State. Pierce, this is my friend, Al.”

Al gasped and smiled. “This is your brother? Now I see a resemblance.”

Pierce shook Al’s hand. “Glad to meet you.”

Trisha said, “Pierce drove me to the restaurant. Would you mind if I rode with you back to the dorm?”

Al swallowed. “I always like your company.”

While driving, Al said, “You know, I thought Pierce was a new boyfriend.”

Trisha looked wide eyed at Al. “You did?” But she was smiling.

“I realized I want us to be a couple,” Al found himself blurting out what was on his mind, even though he thought he should keep it to himself.

Trisha kissed Al on the cheek. “You do? Finally. I kept trying to make it happen, but I wanted you to say it.”